'We found our perfect daughter through adoption'

A couple who say they found their "perfect" daughter through adoption have told how they felt it was important to keep a relationship with her birth mother.

Emma and Phil, from Blackpool, adopted their "amazing" daughter Maisie just over three years ago and are advising other potential adopters to be "open and honest" throughout the process.

While they initially thought they would have no contact with Maisie's birth family, the couple changed their mind after one of the council's training courses.

Phil said the twice yearly visits were "beneficial" for the whole family, while Emma said it was "like a sisterly relationship".

Emma, who works in IT, said their positive approach along with support from a "brilliant" social worker led to them being approved as adopters for the five-year-old in less than a year.

The 43-year-old said getting a phone call "to say she was ours" was one of the "best moments".

The couple said they made an initial phone call to Adoption Lancashire and Blackpool who, they said, were incredibly helpful and professional.

They quickly progressed through the initial stages of the adoption process, completing the first stage in three months, and stage two in eight months.

Phil, 36, said the stages included an initial assessment before "a proper deep dive into who you are as people".

He said the process was made easier by their social worker.

"Even though he was doing a formal job, when he came round, it just felt like having a chat with your mate," he said.

"He's asking you all these very deep and intense things, but it didn't feel awkward talking to him about it because he had a lovely manner about him."

"I don't think we'd have had the experience we had if it wasn't for him," Emma said.

"You've got to be comfortable to be able to talk about everything", but she said they never felt judged.

Emma and Phil were matched with two-year-old Maisie in November 2022.

"When she came to us at 22 months old, she was just learning to speak, and could say hi and bye and things like that," Emma said.

"She's very sociable and extremely clever, and in school, they actually pulled us to one side when she was in reception, and said she is reading at Year 1 level."

She added: "We love taking her away on lots of holidays, and we love reading and swimming with her as well.

"She's very independent and sassy."

Phil said he believed a reason for the match was because they were "quite chilled" about being open to Maisie's birth mother still being able to see her.

"At first we thought that we'd have no contact with any family at all," Emma said.

But after a two-day training course at county hall "it just completely switched our opinion on it because we heard stories from other adopters".

They meet up twice a year with Maisie's birth mother, which the family believe benefits everyone.

"You understand it's beneficial for the child, but also for family as well, there's a lot of people involved and a lot of emotions involved," Phil said.

"She was very young when she had [Maisie], and it's very much like a sister relationship," Emma added.

Emma's advice for anyone interested in adoption was to be "very open and honest" and "expect them to dig deep into your personal lives".

"But don't feel like it's a negative on you," she said.

"It's just that they need to make sure they're doing their job to make sure like a child is put with the right family and the right fit.

"You never know - you could end up being matched with the perfect child."

"Don't wait, don't keep putting it off and waiting," Phil advised, adding that he never felt "pressurised" into doing anything.

"Just go and find out what it's all about," he said.

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